Nobbie Stiles, Razor Ruddock, Vinnie Jones, Julian Dicks, Elizabeth Lambert

Slight but vicious University of New Mexico defender Elizabeth 'don't call me Lizzie' Lambert displays her 'agricultural' approach to the game of soccerball. Defo one to take woman and ball.

Babies making £$£ (finally)

Everyone knows babies cost an arm and leg. For the first six months or so they are unable to work (even freelance). That's until now. An enterprising Indian nanny has come up with a great plan which is a dead cert to catch on elsewhere - renting babies out to beggars to help them with their 'i've got so much on my plate right now can I have a few rupees' routine. Unbelievably, hopelessly short-sighted news outlets like the BBC are trying to stop babies making some much-needed dough for their parents. I think this is pretty disgusting given they gave J.Woss a massive rise and free haircuts for life at Nikki Clarke as a reward for ruthlessly attacking old people.

Cooper boards "The Devil's Double"

With cocky so-and-so Dominic Cooper on board, "The Devil's Double" is heating up. Check this from Screen Intl. ...

Cooper to play The Devil’s Double for Tamahori
9 November, 2009 | By Jeremy Kay
Dominic Cooper will star and Ludivine Sagnier is in talks to join him in Corsan’s thriller The Devil’s Double based on the true story of Uday Hussein’s body double that is set to begin shooting in January in Malta.
Lee Tamahori (Die Another Day, XXX: State Of The Union) will direct to join what Corsan CEO Paul Breuls described as a taut action tale about the extraordinary life of Latif Yahia.
Corsan World Sales is talking to buyers here at AFM and the Paradigm Motion Picture Finance Group is representing domestic rights.
Yahia, a dead ringer for Saddam Hussein’s sadistic and widely despised son, was forced against his will to stand in for Uday in potentially dangerous situations. Through his role, Yahia gained access to Hussein’s inner sanctum and witnessed corruption, violence and debauchery.
Michael Thomas adapted the screenplay from Hussein’s books I Was Saddam’s Son and The Devil’s Double.
Cooper currently appears alongside Carey Mulligan and Peter Sarsgaard in An Education and his credits include Mamma Mia!, The Duchess and The History Boys. He will next be seen in Stephen Frears’ Tamara Drewe.

Oliver Spencer combat jumper

Pretty much everything in Lamb's Conduit Street shop Oliver Spencer is lovely. If I had any spare greenbacks I'd already be the owner of their combat jumper. I'm a complete and utter sucker for thumb-holes. This is what the Zapatistas would wear if they invaded the Falklands.

Pocket-sized hedgehog

Mini pets are all the rage right now. Her Poshness just bought Becks a pair of micropiglets. Thanks to Matt for alerting me to the vast array of other mini pets out there. Apparently, mini-hedgehogs are soooo last year. Like I give a root - they wipe the floor with the pint-sized competition.

HOLD THE FRONT PAGE: Bears join War on Terror!

BREAKING NEWS: The long wait is over; Bears have finally cast their all-important vote on the ongoing clash of civilisations. After a series of clandestine meetings in woods (which, reportedly, even the trees weren't invited to), Bears have come down firmly on the side of democracy. Phewy - they don't hate our freedom. They might even love it.
Bears first deadly contribution to the ongoing War on Terror came in South Kashmir where a lone operator named Rupert van Rooneyberg took out two sleeping Mujahideen fighters with consumate ease.
"This is potentially a problematic situation for our Global terror network," said a leading Taliban commander, who preferred to go un-named. (S)he added "holy dude, this is bad; the Bears know pretty much all our caves." The Bears' decision to team up with the West comes somewhat out of leftfield for Islamic fundamentalist militants. "Just last Tuesday we shared mint tea with some senior Bears and even had a little dance under the stars," lamented the balaclava'd Taleban commander.
President Obama cut off his holiday in Martha's Vineyard to welcome the news: "It cannot be underestimated how important co-operation with the Bears worldwide might prove. I think it would be fair to say that they know more about caves than even the Mountain Goats."
A spokesperson for the Mtn Goats had not returned calls at time of press.

Ice-T - getting colder.

O.G. Ice-T once again shows the first generation of rappers to enter middle-age how not to age gracefully. Even Flavor Flav and Bobby Brown would disapprove of this 'look'.

Sensible shirting

If only this SatyenKumar number wasn't dry clean only I'd defo be handing over the readies. Otherwise, it's pretty much ideal; understated & smart yet casual.

Secret Cinema presents Alien

Click 'ere to check out pictures from Secret Cinema's Halloween special. The film was "Alien" and the bash took place in a derelict warehouse in Shoreditch.

Awayday gone badly wrong

I don't know what's worse: being set on fire or being doused in warm Carlsberg by a mob of (hilarious) pissed-up hoolies. Spose this is what happens when you dress up as a sheep on public transport.

Lacoste wool hat

Al Capone used to wear a cheerful wool hat like this when he went on his summer holidays. His regular black one just reminded him too much of burying bodies in fresh cement under the highway.

Russell Moccasin Fishing Oxford Shoes

I'm sure they're good for reeling in monster marlin but just imagine how good these would be for tug o' war.

Shucks Shux

AlShux AKA Alexander Shuckburgh (and my future brother-in-law) continues his meteoric rise. His excellent "Empire State of Mind" track for little-known Big Apple rapper Jay-Z has been treated to a music vid by Hype Williams.

Otto and the Eye

Click here to see young Otto Gundry's superb acting debut. I love the way the vid is shot by his pop esp. the bit on the bike at the beginning. As you might be able to tell Otto is somewhat in love with the London Eye and its magnificent pods. That's until he claps eyes on the ice cream van. It's then when his heart truly Toffee Crumbles and he 99 Flakes out.

Mao mark II???

In the red corner, hailing out of China and weighing in at an impressive 220 pounds, meet General Mao, the fast-rising grandson of the Great Helmsman who looks set to run the world.