Wednesday 4 November 2009

HOLD THE FRONT PAGE: Bears join War on Terror!


BREAKING NEWS: The long wait is over; Bears have finally cast their all-important vote on the ongoing clash of civilisations. After a series of clandestine meetings in woods (which, reportedly, even the trees weren't invited to), Bears have come down firmly on the side of democracy. Phewy - they don't hate our freedom. They might even love it.
Bears first deadly contribution to the ongoing War on Terror came in South Kashmir where a lone operator named Rupert van Rooneyberg took out two sleeping Mujahideen fighters with consumate ease.
"This is potentially a problematic situation for our Global terror network," said a leading Taliban commander, who preferred to go un-named. (S)he added "holy dude, this is bad; the Bears know pretty much all our caves." The Bears' decision to team up with the West comes somewhat out of leftfield for Islamic fundamentalist militants. "Just last Tuesday we shared mint tea with some senior Bears and even had a little dance under the stars," lamented the balaclava'd Taleban commander.
President Obama cut off his holiday in Martha's Vineyard to welcome the news: "It cannot be underestimated how important co-operation with the Bears worldwide might prove. I think it would be fair to say that they know more about caves than even the Mountain Goats."
A spokesperson for the Mtn Goats had not returned calls at time of press.

1 comment:

  1. .. AND someone get hold of that teenage axewoman in Rajouri and give her a Smartcar.

    .. AND you have the man for the job, Lt Col Brar: but for an e ..

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