Baby, I want you back (even if you hate the planet)

Regular ArchBlog readers (hi mom!) will be aware I am a lapsed National Geographic subscriber and that they are dead keen to get me back in the fold (see previous post on the subject here).

It pisses them off that we had a (good) thing and I ended it. Just like that.

From time to time, they send me mournful letters to remind me of their existence, re-assure me they still care about me (even if I did unceremoniously dump them just after Christmas).

The letters make me feel bad. In fact, I think that might be what they are designed to do; induce feelings of guilt.

The latest one from John Griffin, President, Publishing, begins by setting a somewhat serene scene:
"Continuity is the glue that binds one day to the next. One week to another. One generation to its children. Indeed, part of the world's beauty is the exquisite continuity among all things - animals, plants and people."

I think I've twigged what they are doing ... could it be that they are subtly suggesting that, by refusing to renew my sub, I am taking on CONTINUITY itself?
Could the insinuation be that I am trashing the world's beauty and cutting the umbilical link between generations? Am I basically single-handedly destroying the planet? Stop John, stop, I've had enough.

But he doesn't. He never does. Relentless John turns the knife in my heart. In underlined copy he urges:
"Don't break the chain that links you to the world and all its wonders! Mail your renewal instructions today."

(Best go now - I'm on a fag break from an awesome seal clubbing seshion and feel like pissing on an iceberg until it melts. You know I'm still bad.)