Mannequin firms

These days, hooliganism is under control. You can't offer your friend a piece of Wrigley's inside a football ground without 52 beady-eyed CCTV cameras zooming in to check you're not winding up to fire a 'missile' at the pitch. With this in mind, real trouble-makers hell-bent on football violence have migrated away from the grounds to pre-arranged 'meets' where they can have a propwa tear-up without the fuzz stopping all the fun.

It turns out this sinister culture of pre-arranged punch-ups has spread to the little-known world of mannequins. Just yesterday, I was in the tragic little W12 Shopping Centre (which cowers in the shadows of WESTFIELD LONDON) when I spotted there'd been some recent trouble between the Liverpool and Chelsea mannequin firms:

This shocking shop window barney was all the more gruesome for its seeming sexual nature. Although I'm no cop, it looks to me like the Scouse nutter pulled up his victim's shirt to fondle her after he had knocked her down. So sick. What is the world coming to?