Tangerine dream

What with the World Cup just 'round the corner, the whole world has gone potty for football. Over in the U.S., the NBA play-offs may be about to commence, but all eyes are firmly on developments in soccer.

Predictably, most yanks support the big teams - Man Utd, Arsenal, Liverpool, Chelsea - but interest in England's national game has grown to such an extent that Cali dudes are starting to get well into the Coca-Cola Championship. Take Arthur's friend Dean Karr - he's so pumped that Ian Holloway managed to get the tangerines of Blackpool promoted, he's rarely to be seen not in his 'Blackpool Bombers' tee. Who the hell is Kobe?

The ultimate accessory: Pocket Axes

Everyone knows violent crime is on the rise. So why not take sensible precautions when out there on the mean streets? Why not stay safe by carrying an axe for self-defence? I have for years.

The best news is one's axe need no longer upset one's persoanl style. Gone are the days when the only axe option was a chunky beast you bought from a hardware store and was a bitch to lug round.

These days, you can buy axes that actually make you look that bit sharper. I've just ordered all four of these tidy little axes from The Best Made Company ($95 a pop). I strongly suggest you do likewise

Via Cool Hunting

War on Terror chic

Imagine how sweeeeet these beautiful The North Face Purple Label bags would look teamed with a orange Guantanamo jumpsuit. The perfect look for a trip to the bazaar to pick up aubergines and halloumi. This killer 'old killim' range is made with trad Middle Eastern fabrics.

British Military Rolex

Continuing my current bent for watches to go to war in ...
I love my watch but I have to admit that I'd cheat on it for this superb British Military (Oyster Perpetual) Rolex which is soon to go under the hammer @ auction in Nu York for well north of $20,000.
Via A Continuous Lean

My drinking hand

In some parts of America, really bad alcoholics have been noted to use their beers as actual hands ...

Via The Huffington Post

Hensch Man Joe trousers?

Would you? I actually might ...
BTW, I'm told salmon pink is the hot colour right now
Via Selectism

Beware sneezing laptops

Let's all agree - computer virus's are a major bummer. Some alienated 13-year-old in a floor-length leather coat takes a break from playing 'Call of Duty' and sends you a nasty email saying 'Hi there!' or 'break down walls with you all-new supercock' and the next thing you know your harddrive evaporates into thin air. Your painstaking dissertation on the origins of the Cuban Revolution is lost forever. Gobbled up and never spat out by the ether.
But according to a scientist at the University of Reading (the same joint that encoraged H.Blumenthal to cook with liquid nitrogen) the next breed of computer viruses will be way worse.
According to the Financial Times, Dr Mark Gasson is the first human to be infected by a computer virus. And he didn't even get it from shagging a sickly baboon in the Central African Republic. No, Gasson only went and deliberately infected himself (in the name of science). Here's why:
Dr Gasson deliberately introduced a computer virus into an electronic chip that had been implanted into his left hand last year, in order to study its effects.
“We are moving towards these devices being small computers that are able to store information, communicate with other devices, and perform simple computations. But with these new abilities come new risks, such as being attacked by computer viruses,” Dr Gasson said.
“There are very serious implications for medical devices. Imagine if someone developed a virus that stopped a pacemaker working.”
The chip in Dr Gasson’s hand is a high-end radio frequency identification chip, a sophisticated version of the technology used in shop security tags and for identifying pets. The device, the size of the grain of rice, allowed him secure access to University buildings and his mobile phone.
Once infected with the virus, the microchip contaminated the system that was used to communicate with it and tried to spread to other chips in contact with the system.
Dr Gasson said that the experiment had offered a “glimpse at the problems of tomorrow”.

Whatever next - emails that punch you in the nose? Adobe attachments that make you break out in spots? Anyone else a little concerned about the future?

Suggested reading: A Collection A Day

Rarely do I come across a blog as excellent as 'A Collection A Day,' the brainchild of San Fran based artist and illustrator Lisa Congdon.
Since childhood, Congdon has been an avid collector of pretty much everything. Her collections range from vintage envelopes to plastic seashells via smooth rocks found on the beach.
Now the human jackdaw has decided to post a picture every day for 365 days presenting one of her collections. She's up to day 145. Once you check out the 'A Collection A Day' blog, you'll find yourself returning every few days to see what she posts next.
What I love most about her blog is the simplicity of the concept. I also applaud her decision to include some 'imagined' collections; for stuff she wishes she collected but hasn't, she just posts a drawing.
Anyway, here's the url: http://collectionaday2010.blogspot.com/

Rooney as tramp

If you haven't already seen it, time to check out the Nike 'Write the Future' World Cup ad directed by Alejandro G. Inarritu ("Babel") ...

Timex Vintage Field Army watch by J. Crew

It's amazing how a day paintballing in Croydon can have you dreaming of the trenches ... Watch available from J. Crew website for $150

Via Hypebeast

Bogdanoff twins hit Cannes

Every sleb worth their salt knows that making a big splash on the Croisette at Cannes can be a great career move. It can re-energise a flagging career no end. Like plastic surgery.

With that in mind Igor and Grichka Bogdanoff (AKA the Bogdanoff twins), who were big stars 30 years ago on French TV, showed up at Chopard's lavish 150th anni party in Cannes this week to press the flesh and get seen. Unsurprisingly, their new, improved look had the flashbulbs popping like botched botox.

BTW, here's how they used to look:

Photos via Getty and Wikipedia

Wenlock and Mandeville

Mascots are inherently ridiculous but Wenlock and Mandeville, the mascots for the London 2012 Olympics and Paralympics, really do take the biscuit. Straight up bonkers!
Where to start? They are modelled on a short story about droplets of steel which drip off the new Olympics stadium and take life. Their cyclops-like faces are modelled on digital cameras and they each sport a natty London black cab orange light on their wierd bonces. To make them slightly more frightening for kids, they have hands like shark fins and feet like elephants.
Enough with the sniping - I love their names. Here's the providence (from the Guardian):
Wenlock, named after the Shropshire town of Much Wenlock that helped inspire Pierre de Coubertin to launch the modern Olympics, and Mandeville, inspired by the Buckinghamshire town of Stoke Mandeville, where the Paralympics were founded

Photo credit: Suzanne Plunkett/Reuters

Visvim FBT Bear Foot Shaman (Folk)

Ages ago I stopped posted up any Visvim stuff for two reasons: 1) I basically love it all 2) It's all horrendously over-priced and difficult to get hold of in Europe.

However, I'm gonna make an exception to my rule to flag up these killer kicks from the uber-trendy Jap label.

I imagine this is what mountain dancers wear on their night off. Sort of 'shoes to cook pasta in in an isolated log cabin' ...

Via Hypebeast

Blue Army

Gangs often define themselves with a 'them against us' mentality. They adopt a no-one-likes-us-we-don't-care mindset to foster togetherness. Take these close-knit Stockport County fans on a sunny awayday in Southend ...

Via (ArchBlog deepthroat source) Stuey Forsyth

Coffin Wood Pizza

One of the best meals I have ever eaten was pizza at Da Michele in Naples, AKA 'the sacred temple of pizza'. After an almost 2-hour wait for a table at the tiny joint, Hannah and I devoured their two wonderfully simple offerings - a margherita and a marinara. Both were outrageously delicious and the meal was made all the more memorable by the wonderfully dated decor (tiled walls etc) which looked like it hadn't been touched since they opened in 1930.
It was so good I haven't been able to eat a pizza since - nothing will ever match up so what's the point. I could bore you silly about the perfect dough, the freshness of the tomatoes but what really stood out was the wood-fired aroma - hints of Vesuvian plain sapling.
Or so I thought until I read with utter disgust that what we ate was in fact (probably) dead people. Italy is on fire with reports that crooked cooks in Naples (there's lots) are firing pizza ovens with coffin wood 'salvaged' (ie dug up) from graveyards.
Anyone want to go to Pizza Express with me?

Henry VIII's dream jeans

It's pretty impressive how jeans have taken over the world. The humble workwear staple has become, undoubtedly, the world's fave legwear.
The reach across class and country boundaries is unreal. Liberian robbers wear jeans. And so does Prince Harry. In fact, it is hard to imagine a world without jeans.
But such a world did exist. One of the best-known rulers in the pre-jeans era was Henry the Eighth. So, it saddens me to today stumble across these understated denim beauties. I am sad because I can't help but think how much Henry would have loved these. They'd have ticked all his big boxes:
*roomy crotch (for his massive package)
*easy to let out after a big banquet
*ideal for horseback wear

Happy Socks x Wong Wong socks

More natty World Cup clobber to sport this June/July. The Argie socks are my pick of the bunch:Via Hypebeast.

Mannequin firms

These days, hooliganism is under control. You can't offer your friend a piece of Wrigley's inside a football ground without 52 beady-eyed CCTV cameras zooming in to check you're not winding up to fire a 'missile' at the pitch. With this in mind, real trouble-makers hell-bent on football violence have migrated away from the grounds to pre-arranged 'meets' where they can have a propwa tear-up without the fuzz stopping all the fun.

It turns out this sinister culture of pre-arranged punch-ups has spread to the little-known world of mannequins. Just yesterday, I was in the tragic little W12 Shopping Centre (which cowers in the shadows of WESTFIELD LONDON) when I spotted there'd been some recent trouble between the Liverpool and Chelsea mannequin firms:

This shocking shop window barney was all the more gruesome for its seeming sexual nature. Although I'm no cop, it looks to me like the Scouse nutter pulled up his victim's shirt to fondle her after he had knocked her down. So sick. What is the world coming to?

MMM 'smoker' shirts

People who work in fashion still smoke like industrial revolution era chimneys. That's because they'd rather die than quit fags and get fat. For hardened chain-smoking fashionistas, here's a new wardrobe stable - the new Maison Martin Margiela 'smoker' shirts. They come complete with a special inner pocket especially designed to cradle 20 lung-busters ...

Via Selectism

Get some rest buddy

It's been a tough few days for our poor overworked politicial representatives. Ever since the election which elected no-one, there's been constant behind-the-scenes horse-trading going on. Where you a political landscape painter you'd have run out of paints long ago.
So, no wonder one or two of the key negotiators are looking a little ropey, a little fatigued. Take young William Hague. Dude has really let himself go ...

Moontime: new concept of time

Does your watch struggle to keep the time? Find yourself running late?
Fret not for you can drop off the grid and start adopting the new concept of moontime with a moonwatch.
The moontime watch has been invented by The Emotion Lab. Here's the hippy blurb:
The moon has been a guide and object of admiration and mysticism during thousands of years. Agriculture, fertility, tidal patterns, human behaviour and many other activities have been linked to the different moon phases.
Moonwatch has been designed to establish a relationship between the moon cycle and a person’s emotional states. It’s a new concept of time based on nature which invites people to reflect upon and gain a closer understanding of their mood and daily life on earth.
I'm sold although fear my mood might dip a little when it passes through total blackout!
Via Cool Hunting

Q: Information as distraction

"With iPods and iPads and Xboxes and PlayStations, -- none of which I know how to work -- information becomes a distraction, a diversion, a form of entertainment, rather than a tool of empowerment, rather than the means of emancipation."
- Barack Obama

Smoking Heat!

This just in from ArchBlog's roving cub reporter Otto G:
A lot of the other kids at my playgroup have iPhones and only like cartoons in 3D but I'm more of a traditionalist in my tastes.
I think it's really important for kids my age to continue to cherish old world treasures like tractors.
With this in mind, I'd like to draw your attention to this awesome YouTube vid about fire trucks (fire engines to me and you). I'm sure you too will be absolutely bowled over by the dedication of the fire brigade and come away wishing your car had one of those elephant trunk-like supersoakers ... feel the heat, smell the smoke and taste the flames here:

ps Happy Bday Mum!

Distressed jeans

Sometimes one's lovelife can begin to impinge on one's worklife, one's career. You try to block it out but you can't. Ask Whitney Houston.

Or take Swedish footballer Zlatan Ibahimovic. Allegedly, he's one of Europe's top strikers. After all, he has won the league for seven consecutives seasons (Ajax, Inter, Barca).

Allegedly and reportedly, he's also pining for the heart of his colleague Gerard Pique (centre-back) and it seems to be upsetting his game.

Anyone who saw Zlat's utterly listless performance versus Mourinho's Inter in the Camp Nou might diagnose a sudden bout of lovesickness.

And perhaps (allegedly, reportedly) Pique also has something of a soft spot for the big Swede. After all, as soon as lanky Zlat was yanked off (the pitch), Pique's performance did sky-rocket; he scored a goal young Messi would have been proud of. Perhaps (allegedly, reportedly) no longer having the distraction of having his friend on the pitch liberated Pique?

Via hardened ArchBlog fanatic Stuey Forsyth

Vote with your feet - get down that booth!

Send ArchBlog your piccies of you voting and I'll post 'em up.

What not to wear: Courtroom

In a fully-functioning liberal democracy like the U.S., it's pretty hard to get chucked in the slammer for wearing dodgy garms but that's exactly what happened to Jennifer LaPenta, a 19-year-old Illinois lady, when she attended her pal's court hearing incorrectly dressed.
Presumedly 'cos her demure trouser suit was at the dry cleaners, Jenny opted to sport her 'I have the pussy, so I make the rules' tee (and sit wham bang in the front row). It was all too much for the judge who nailed her for comtempt of court.
No news on how the tee went down in all-gal lock-up where she spent the night for her fashion crime.

Via The Smoking Gun

Robocop Geographic

Oh boy!
National Geographic have penned me another 'reminder' letter. For regular readers, you'll know this happens on a frighteningly regular basis.
Gone are the previous appeals to my better conscience. Now, it's straight hardball. No chaser.
John 'Don't Play' Griffin, President, Publishing (for those of you dumb enough not to remember his top level exec title) has a simple message for getaway scum like me:
THIS IS YOUR FINAL NOTICE.
Unless I get back to him and his boys 'immediately' I face expulsion from the party:
"your name will be dropped from the National Geographic Society membership rolls."
Keep it going harder Johnboy.
In keeping with tradition there's still a little guilt pill for me to swallow:
"p.s Think how much your family member's gain from NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC'S blend of information, imagination, and insight. Renew now for them- as well as for yourself"
ie stop being such a selfish bstd Archie and give your family back their imagination, info and insight (you lazy thief).

Via the doormat

Diddy Blog - find your destiny (the river will carry you)

You might have noticed I've been trying to give my blog a little bit of a 'push' of late. I've emailed all my mates. I've set up a Facebook (support) group. Even if I haven't yet managed to persuade Simon Cowell to come out in support of my campaign, I'm roundly satisfied with my e-efforts.
But it turns out it aint sheeeet compared to how hard Puff Daddy is hyping his forthcoming Diddy Blog. To get the ball rolling, Daddy has put together a trailer which is on permanent loop here
Judging by the trailer, which features just about every influential black American ever - Obama, Ali, Jordan and err, Will Smith - you'd figure Diddy Blog will have the power to plug oil spills, disperse volcanic ash and rebuild Haiti overnight.

http://vimeo.com/11449281 from Diddy Blog on Vimeo.

Via Gawker

Meeting the Queen

As far as celeb scalps go, there's no-one I'd like to bunp into more than Fidel Castro. That's hard given a) he lives in Cuba b) is so obsessed with his security that he rarely spends two nights in a row in the same bed.
For my brother target number one has been dance expert Louie Spence ever since he first clapped eyes on the impossibly fine 'Pineapple Dance Studios' TV show (Go Sky!).
Finally, after weeks of dodgy tip-offs and fruitless stakeouts, Reub got his man last night ...

Remind yourself how awesome Mr Spence is by checking this vid I posted a few months back. And here's his website: http://www.louiespence.com/

Summer kicks: Keds Triumph

For those sick and tired of Converse All-Stars, here's an alternative summer holiday shoe: Keds Triumph. According to legend, Keds were the first firm to make a sneaker (in the thirties) and I applaud them for sticking to their guns. They've stuck to simple, wearable designs like the Triumph. For me, the rubber toe detailing makes these ...
Via Hypebeast

Laura Bush: 'Secret Rastafarian'

The Bush Babes AKA Dubya's wife and kids recently went on Oprah. I haven't seen the show but imagine it was a pretty tame affair. But one deet caught my eye; according to young Jenna Bush former first lady Laura is a 'secret Rastafarian'. Huh?
Disappointingly, this does mean that while George is hanging out at the country club with Texan oil barons, Laura sits at home blazing up the 'urb, eating only ital food and preaching about the (soon come) destruction of Babylon.
Instead, it just refers to Laura's insatiable appetite for the music of His Bobness Robert Nesta Marley.
Laura must like the slow, soothing ones ('No Woman No Cry') cos her kids also told Oprah a typical night in at the ranch involves the fam playing puzzles and turning in at 21.00. Not that rasta.

Via People Magazine

Return of the Otter

There's always a pint-sized soapbox on ArchBlog for the under-fives.
So, up-step young Otto G with a little update on what's hawt in his life right now:
Happy May folks! Bummer about the weather but let's not stress hey ... I figure it's bound to rebound back into spring soon. Perhaps it has something to do with the ash cloud?
That's enough of the oh-so English pleasantries.
Some time ago I took time out to educate you fools about the wonders of the London Eye (remember this vid my dad made?)
Now I'm back and I thought I'd let youse know how a real G rolls on a standard bank holiday weekend.
It goes a little something like this; if I'm not having a top-level pow-wow meeting in Starbucks (work never sleeps peeps), I'm kicking it @ home with an eff-off cappuch or strolling down country lanes looking effortlessly cool*.
Word up, Otto G

*Before you ask ... yes, fashion is (reasonably) important to me. Did you actually think that bottom button came undone on its own accord? Do me a favour. I always loosen it as I think we'd all agree my cardie looks way better worn this way.

Photo credit: Alice Blacker

SOMEWHERE DEEP DOWN IN MY HEART, I STILL LOVE YOU

Some men never cry.
Why? They deem it simply unmanly, prefer never to show weakness.
However, there comes a moment in every man who does not cry's life when he loses discipline, lets himself down. Fags out.
The stiff upper lip begins to quiver and years of tears rip a hole in the eye socket dam.
Given the subject has had no practise of crying, the result can be quite extraordinary.
Sometimes it sounds exactly like a male walrus giving birth. Case in point:

Via Arran Lidgett

May Day, May Day - an eel is eating my bowels!

'What's the worst way to die?' was always a pretty hot topic in the playground. 'Drowning' was a popular answer. Fair enough I spose.
But it turns out there's a far, far worse way to die than drowning.
According to The Sun, a Chinese chef has died after a eel ate his insides as he slept.

And how did this happen you wonder?
Turns out his 'mates' put the eel up his bum when he passed out drunk (hahahaha). Cheers guys! Medics said the eel devoured his bowels. Pass the sickbag.

World Cup Fever: WAG lashes

Here's a essential item for all you female (or male) En-ger-land World Cup fans. Be the envy of the White Horse in these proudly patriotic lashes. Also good clobber for BNP rallies and for sporting on Henman Hill/Murray Mound.

Via Han Picked